i love how no matter how badly you fuck up benadryl cumquat’s name everyone on here still knows who ur talking about
“I like clothes now. I have more energy. I sleep better. My sex drive is up. Blood’s flowing. I’m less susceptible to impulse. I’m in a different mode. When I was way out of shape, the idea of using whitening strips on my teeth seemed terrible. I have to do that every day? I’ll never do it. What you want is instant results when you’re out of shape. You want your teeth whitened in 45 minutes with the use of lasers. But when you’re in shape, you know it’s the result of doing a little bit every day. Moments aren’t just moments. A moment might be a week or a month. So instead of Boy, I’d love to eat this hamburger right now, I’m considering a little further into the future. I’m thinking, I eat that hamburger and that’s 1,200 calories, and I’m gonna work out tomorrow and lose 800 calories. I may as well eat a salad here, still do that workout, and then I’m actually making progress.” — Chris Pratt
This just motivated the fuck out of me.
why is there even such a controversy over why girls are doing better in school. why is this an issue. why cant you just accept for once that men are not fucking better than everything. there is actual proof that girls perform better than boys in school in england but men literally can’t handle that and they have to make up like ten million fucking excuses holy shit
I can’t even begin to describe the brilliance of this segment.
i’m screaming. she’s fucking awesome. anyone know where this can be found as an actual video?
my textbook and i have a lot in common
oh you like that character?
you love them?
I don’t believe you
The last one killed me, omfg.
I came out as a queer during football practice when my coach was like “son, you’re having trouble throwing straight” and I replied “I’m also having trouble being straight”. It got very quiet and then coach just shook his head and said “throw the damn ball, Cooper”
i have been laughing for 3 million years